The Japanese have a very unique culture. Their foods, products, and entertainment are often delightfully distinct, but there are more than a few elements of Japanese culture that will leave you wondering what the designers were thinking.
1. Japan is one of the thinnest countries in the world. The Japanese are so scared of becoming fat that they invented "diet water." Yes, "the Japanese have diet" water, as opposed to the regular "full fat" water the rest of us are drinking! Still weirder: the Japanese seem to be buying into the diet water hype.
2. You know you're lazy when you have a rubber hand iPhone case to hold your phone for you! As an added bonus, this case doubles as a hand to hold for those in need of companionship. We can only hope that this hand doesn't come in a "bathroom" version.
3. Only in Japan would you find a bejeweled noose. Apparently if you're going to hang yourself, the Japanese want you to do it in style! There's no way a company could sell this in the U.S.A-they would be shut down immediately!
4. This one's too insane to classify. Just don't stare at the GIF for too long-it'll probably cause brain damage.
5. Ever found yourself unable to take care of your giant, man-eating octopus? Well worry not-the Japanese have come up with a solution for that.
6. The Japanese love penis and aren't afraid to show it! Do they offer a prescription version of those glasses?
7. Do you love bugs? If so, you'll love the latest Japanese fashion trend. You can kill and eat bugs everywhere-only in Japan can you wear them as a unique fashion statement!
8. Both single and married Japanese men have been known to have extensive collections of "love" dolls. Japanese women have a hard time competing with these dolls-love dolls stay young and firm forever. If only their owners did too.
9. Have you ever wanted to look like a fish? The Japanese can make your dream a reality! These fish lips are guaranteed to make you the envy of your friends.
10. Japanese TV is known for showing some unique programs. On this show, creepy old men slather much younger women in oil. The end goal of the game is unknown, but look at that guy-he's having the time of his life!
11. Want to reduce stress? Have a few large, fluorescent lights you'd like to recycle? Why not hit your friends over the head with them! Apparently the Japanese see no problem with this novel stress reduction technique. Hopefully they don't see a problem with wearing goggles during these light fights; otherwise, no one will be seeing anything at all.
12. Remember when your mother told you not to make funny faces "or your face will freeze like that forever"? Apparently the Japanese never got the memo-they love to make bizarre faces, and they're getting to be really good at it.
13. Does your neighborhood grocery store stock severed heads? It would if you lived in Japan! It's the things like this that make us wonder whether the Japanese fetishize death and mortality-creepy!
14. Men in Japan can now experience the joys of breastfeeding. This harness allows a man to "breast" feed his baby just like a woman would. Unless the man happens to lactate, he'll still need to use formula or get the milk from the baby's mother.
15. If you love cats and you love sushi, you'll love this sushi-cat contraption. It's hard to understand why exactly this exists, but it is pretty adorable. Let's just hope the Japanese don't also have cat sushi: most people wouldn't find that nearly as cute.
16- Do you find yourself hitting the "snooze" button every morning? The Japanese have that problem solved. While this alarm clock may seem a bit cruel, it's a perfect way to ensure that you'll never reach for the snooze button ever again.
17. Are they actually serious with this one? Are there actually people out there who actively want to make their forehead look like a donut? Don't try this at home. Better yet, don't try this at all.
18. It's never easy breaking the ice with new people. If you dress like the man, you probably won't have to. The trolls on his hat are a nice touch, but it's the goldfish earrings that really make the outfit.
19. If you really love goldfish and wish that you could spend more time with them, you're in luck! You'll have a limited supply of oxygen while wearing this, but does that really matter if you're surrounded by so many goldfish?
20. Japan is surrounded by water, so it's important for Japanese children to learn how to swim. Thankfully, the Japanese offer infant swimming lesson. Babies can learn to swim before they learn how to read, walk, or digest solid food. When the next tsunami comes, Japanese babies will be self-sufficient enough to swim to the surface without mom and dad having to help.
21. Love poop? The Japanese do-so much that they make and sell candy poop. There's no actual poop in this candy's ingredients; those who've tried this poop candy claim that it tastes like coco puffs. Still, the resemblance to the real thing is uncanny. Now that's good s**t!
22. Saggy boob lovers, rejoice! The Japanese have come up with a line of scarves that you will absolutely adore. Why wait for your boobs to sag naturally? Buy this scarf and enjoy your new saggy boobs instantly.
23. Do your children love animals and nature? Are they dying to know how to disembowel a cat? The Japanese have just the toy for them! Potential psychopaths unsure of how they feel about mutilating an animal may also find this toy worthwhile.
24. Many people in Japan hate sleeping alone. This arm pillow offers the feeling of being with someone, no matter how alone you are. You won't ever have to sleep alone again!
25. In need of a new hobby? Consider licking random doorknobs. It's all the rage in Japan! If you really want to shock your hygiene-conscious friends, just lean down and lick a doorknob. Bonus points for any doorknob in a public restroom with no toilet paper. Make sure you're carrying breath mints though-no one likes the smell of doorknob breath!
26. Anime and porn lovers have cause to celebrate. The back of this van depicts a female anime character in a position that leaves little to the imagination. Hopefully the artist is only into cartoon little girls-no one likes a pedophile. If this van showed up in the U.S.A., its driver would probably get himself a beating.
27. Do you have (or want everyone to think you have) a stallion in your pants? Show the world how manly you are by trotting around in this wonderful pair of underwear. Just don't forget to feed your horse; otherwise, he'll be weak and tired. Can you seriously imagine a man wearing this?
28.Do you ever find yourself wishing you could look more like a vampire? Many Japanese dentists specialize in giving women extra sharp canine teeth. After this dental surgery, you'll be the envy of all the dogs and vampires in Japan!
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